


Thoughts

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Writing Exercise, free writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-10-05 20:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17331824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Free writing (according to Wikipedia) 'is a prewriting technique in which a person writes continuously for a set period of time without regard to spelling, grammar, or topic'. But, this is a form of this, where I literally put my thoughts based off of prompts(or not) to written words - which will be why random things pop up, it is disorganized, and terribly messy. Looking for a place to see a random person's thoughts? Then this is for you.





	1. Irony

**Author's Note:**

> This was all begun by an exercise done in my English class, I really enjoyed doing it. Nothing posted will be too personal, and I wanted to do these as writing exercises for myself - who knows, I may be able to make some poetry eventually from this. 
> 
> Some of these may be transferred from handwritten to online, in which I'll leave the spelling as I wrote it originally, or I'll do it through typing, where spellcheck may make them a little neater. The time I set for myself and prompt, if there is one, will be included in the summary of each chapter. Not sure why I'm posting my thoughts thrown up on the page, but oh well!
> 
> Prompt: Where do you believe we think from? Your mind, heart(emotions), or soul?
> 
> Time: 10 minutes

I think too much in general  
Thoughts don't let me sleep  
Thoughts let me excel  
They make me hate something  
People, situations, parts of myself  
Thinking is how this pencil gets on paper

I honestly have no clue where I think from  
Without my brain, I couldn't do basic tasks  
Without my emotions, I would be an insensitive robot  
Without my soul, I would be an empty shell - another wild animal  
Without my soul, I wouldn't be able to speak with God  
I would probably be freed from the battle of sin with no soul

When I can't sleep, I tell myself to stop thinking  
And I think  
and I think and I think and I think

You know how if you say a word too many times in a row and it stops making sense?  
That's what happened a few seconds ago  
So now I can't _think_ straight  
Even more ironic

Irony is funny in strange ways  
It's like nature laughing in your face  
Pointing fingers  
Getting revenge  
Teaching a lesson  
Showing how it's done


	2. Performances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Performing in front of an audience
> 
> Time: 10 minutes

Going in front of a group of people to show off what I've been practicing  
Doesn't that sound weird?  
Doesn't that sound selfish?  
The want to be in the spotlight  
I do it all the time though and I often love it  
Whether it be play the piano, saxophone, or to get up and acting out a part

Maybe we _all_ put on performances every day, not just plays or concerts  
Those are exhilarating  
But the ones we do all the time are purposeful, calculated, precise  
Hair just so, face covered, right outfit  
The right words, posts, and attitude  
Kind of like Shakespeare said:  
All the world's a stage,  
The men and women merely players 

I probably got that wrong  
Mistakes happen  
Sometimes I forgive myself too easy  
Sometimes I don't  
But I never truly seem to be able to forgive others easily  
How often does that happen?  
Be honest  
You say - it's fine! - to yourself or them  
But it will stay, whether you want it to or not  
Now that's something I can't control on my own


	3. Two Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: N/A 
> 
> Time: Ten minutes

Those were the best two years of my life  
With you  
But summer passed and she went and ties we had broke silently  
The following year I beat myself up over it, thinking I changed and did something wrong  
But I guess we both changed  
Not a _single_ real word spoken to me since  
Was it also my fault though?  
I can't read minds

It hurt really bad, and I used to be jealous  
I mean, I still am  
But my loneliness healed over time

All of us feel lonely, is what we're told  
So why do we never fix it, if it's a mutual thing? 

I miss the laughs  
Conversations  
Her singing

But never knowing why and having to guess?   
Never thought that would happen  
People, friends, really do come and go, don't they

I don't think I ever cried over it  
That I remember, at least  
It wasn't that dramatic  
Can't believe I'm thinking about this again  
I don't very often any more  
Which is good  
But then again, I don't want to forget


	4. Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Write about two people seeing each other for the first time
> 
> Time: around 8 minutes

I read somewhere that when humans look at another person we make multiple subconscious decisions about them  
All within 5 seconds  
Mostly negative

That's pretty sad to me, but makes sense  
Like, if someone saw someone not dressed well, I suppose that means we make automatic decisions of what they're like

And I also read we have to check ourselves  
Make sure not to judge them automatically  
But that's really hard, if I'm honest  
To fight those instincts 

Makes me nervous of what other people think when they first see me  
Guess this isn't helping my self-conciousness  
I'll try not to think about it

That's why I like having an identity on a screen so much, possibly  
No one can see me physically  
Though the words that are said can be interpreted  
But that's nice  
The only face I have are my words  
Easier controlled


	5. Inspire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: N/A 
> 
> Time: N/A

Us humans sure like analogies and metaphors and such, don't we?  
How many songs have water analogies? Or fire?

Fire is a strange thing  
I know there's plenty of stuff that talks about how it destroys, kills, and is out of control  
But they also talk about how without fire, things couldn't grow back as better  
Without fire used on fields, the crops wouldn't grow back as good as they do  
Or something like that, I'm not a farmer  
Anyways, it renews  
It makes up the sun and the stars, too!  
Or is that just plasma that makes them up?  
Maybe I should pay attention more in science

Fire has saved a lot of lives, too  
Without it, so much wouldn't have happened  
Survival, welding, etc.

I love laughter  
Laughing makes me feel like everything will be okay even in bad times  
It's sort of a gift of peace

Wouldn't it be cool to have the talent and gifts or a comedian?  
Making people laugh until their stomachs hurt  
That would be an awesome feeling  
Not just as a comedian, but as an artist, writer, composer  
Honestly each of those things can be taken separately or as one whole thing  
To inspire someone


	6. Free Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Imagine you are skydiving
> 
> Time: 15 minutes

Free falling  
How thrilling that would be  
To see the earth beneath you,  
Wind pushing against you,  
Blood pumping.

I think it would make me feel alive   
And how fragile I am.  
How anyone is  
One parachute that doesn't work,  
And those are your last seconds breathing.  
Enough pessimism 

I want to feel that adrenaline all the time  
To know how it would be to fly all the time  
But then it wouldn't be special  
Not that it's possible anyways  
But replaying it is  
Hard to breathe  
Pretending to have wings  
That are only broken

How sad that would be  
To have the ability as a bird to fly  
Only to have it ripped away in one clean (or messy) break  
Then they would know how trapped we feel on the ground   
Never able to do it again  
Free falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of this chapter, I have gone back and fixed major spelling or grammar issues on previous parts, and will continue to do so. I'm not going to spend much time on editing though, only a quick check after writing it, so it's still a free write!


	7. Self-storage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Self-storage 
> 
> Time: N/A

We all have types of storage inside of us  
I never though if it as 'self-storage' until now  
That is, we call it 'memory' most often 

I think we have unique storages  
Pain, love, anger, happiness, stress, etc.  
It depends on how much you store up in each that determines choices on things  
Someone whose heart has been broken before might be more cautious than another  
It's up to us to remember painful memories and let them fester  
Though many are too terrible or good to forget

Peace is possible for anyone, though  
No matter how far away or gone someone may feel from it  
It's there  
No matter what you've done, what's happened to you, or how much guilt or hate you carry  
I feel like I'm only trying to convince myself this

But I do hope  
And I believe hoping is much more than wishing


	8. Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: N/A
> 
> Time: N/A

Emotions suck

One of the worst times is when you're grieving, of course  
Have you ever had a time where you laugh or smile, then hate or scold yourself for doing it?  
I hate times like those.  
I never knew laughing could make me even more sad until around a year ago  
And now I get to relive it all over again

Grief is a strange thing  
You can find comfort in different things, but you're never fully distracted  
Makes you realize you're really just a speck in the grand scheme of things  
Hopefully it helps you become aware of what really matters in our short life 

So maybe emotions aren't so bad after all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to high key shamelessly self advertise here.  
> I wrote an original story about a month back that I'm pretty proud of. If you're interested, you can read it by clicking [**here**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17802533).


End file.
